Hella Fcking Gay
by elisabethstar
Summary: Sirius goes to a coffee shop and Remus works there as a barista. Outside stands the infamous 'Today your barista is...' sign. Fluff. Sirius/Remus


**I know there are a thousand of these kind of stories, but I really wanted to write one myself. I read one about Dean Winchester and Castiel and was very inspired by that one. So if anyone recognizes something, I used a part of the plot for this story, but the rest of the story is all mine.**

Today your barista is:  
1\. Hella fucking gay

2\. Desperately single

For your drink today, I recommend:  
You give me your number

Sirius stares at the sign for a long time before grinning and opening the door of his favourite coffee shop. It is a Thursday morning and it's quiet inside, though the cafetaria is usually crowded with usual buzz of muted conversation is at a low level and the radio plays some song Sirius vaguely recognizes.

'Sirius! Nice to see you again, it's been a while. Do you want the usual?'

Sirius looks up and can't help but smile at Remus, the barista who never forgets a regular and always smiles when Sirius donates some money in the little box on the counter. He even listens to bands Sirius recommends, which isn't something a lot of people do. In Sirius eyes, Remus is perfect and, according to the sign outside, hella fucking gay.

This is brand new information and Sirius is trying to take it all in. He has had a crush on the barista ever since the first time he came to the cafetaria and he can't believe he might actually have a chance with the man.

Remus looks at him expectantly, his brown eyes looking into Sirius's and his smile wavering a bit, confused that it takes Sirius this long to answer.

'Are you okay? Do you need some water?'

Remus' voice seems to wake Sirius up from his thoughts and he blushes. 'No, no – I'm good. Yeah, the usual, thanks.'

Remus smiles and starts making Sirius' drink, asking questions about his life and work and does he have anything fun planned for the weekend? Sirius answers all the questions absentmindedly, trying to figure out how Remus would react of Sirius gave him his number.

When Remus finishes and hands the drink over, Sirius gives him his creditcard. While the receipt prints out, Sirius stares at the pen on the counter and, after signing the receipt, he decides he has nothing to lose. So he writes his number on the top of the receipt, big enough to make it impossible to miss and hands it back to Remus.

Remus does not react the way Sirius was hoping for. He does not look impressed. Or seduced. If anything, he looks rather annoyed.

'Is that...'

'My number,' Sirius says, trying to hide his nerves.

'Is this some kind of joke? Because if it is, I don't get it. Almost twenty different men tried to give me their number today.'

Sirius has trouble keeping the smile on his face. 'It was on the... The sign,' he mumbles. 'It said you – the sign said...' he tries, but stops. It is going to sound extremely stupid when he says it out load.  
Remus's eyes narrow. 'What sign? The sign out front?'

Sirius can't do anything but nod.  
'Please excuse me for a second,' Remus says and he walks outside. A few seconds later he comes in again, carrying the sign under his arm, and walking straight to the kitchen.  
Sirius hears some muffled yelling and the sound of things being dropped into a sink. He is just wondering if he should leave now that he still has some of his self-esteem intact, when Remus comes back out of the kitchen, his cheeks pink.

'I'm sorry,' he says. 'My boss thought she was being funny.'

Sirius doesn't know what to answer and keeps quiet. They are both quiet for a few minutes, lost in their own thoughts. Remus stares out of the window, an almost sad look in his eyes and Sirius curses himself for being so stupid. How could he even think that Remus would want his number? He probably already has someone he likes and maybe he isn't even gay. The sign is, after all, a joke.

'Did you want anything else?' Remus breaks the silence after a few minutes.

'No, thank you,' Sirius answers automatically. He smiles and waves before turning around and leaving the café without his coffee, not giving Remus the chance to say goodbye. He has never felt so humiliated in his life.

Friday comes and goes by and Sirius still feels awful. He doesn't go out, but breaks into his alcohol supply and passes out on the couch.

When he wakes up on Saturday his head is pounding and he feels sick. He needs coffee. Now. Unfortunately, he didn't go grocery shopping this week, so there is no coffee left. The coffee shop is only a five minute walk, though. Sirius curses himself for his stupidity again. If he hadn't given Remus his number, he could still go there.

After wallowing in self-pity for a few minutes, he get's up. There is no reason not to go to the coffee shop. It was just a misunderstanding, he can still go. And maybe Remus isn't even working today.

Sirius is ready to go within minutes and starts walking to the coffee shop. He feels as if it isn't a big deal to go back there, until he is actually in the coffee shop and the last one in line. Remus is staring at him, looking the way Sirius feels.

'Hello Sirius,' Remus says, blunter than usual. It stings, but Sirius smiles bravely.

'Hey Remus. I'll take the usual, please.'

Remus nods and starts making the drink without an answer. Sirius leans against the counter, biting his lip and thinking of ways to break the uncomfortable silence.  
'What did you do with it?'

The words leave his mouth before he can really think them over. He quickly looks around, but none of the other clients seems to have noticed his outburst. Remus just looks at him, a questioning look in his eyes.

'With my number?' Sirius adds in a whisper.

Remus's eyes go wide and he looks a little lost. 'I threw them out. Lily's... My boss's idea of a joke...'

'It wasn't a joke,' Sirius interrupts. He knows it is a rude thing to do and if his parent's could see him now he would probably get locked in his room for a few days, without food, but he doesn't care. 'I mean- mine wasn't a joke.'

There are a few seconds of silence that seem to go on forever and Sirius starts to consider leaving the coffee shop to never come back.

'Oh,' Remus says, breaking the silence.

'I'm sorry if... I didn't mean to...'

'It's okay. Don't apologize. Yours was the only number I wanted.'

After that comment, Sirius finds it hard to remember how to breathe. How do people even say those kind of things to others? Like it was nothing. Sirius has trouble telling James he missed him and they have been friends for almost fifteen years. He would never be able to tell someone he barely knows about his feelings.  
Sirius pulls a business card from some random store out of his pocket and writes the number of his cell phone on the back, before sliding the card across the counter. Remus looks at him for a long minute, his brown eyes searching Sirius's grey ones, giving Sirius the feeling that he knows exactly what Sirius is thinking and feeling.

'My number,' Sirius says, smiling softly. 'Just in case.'  
Remus smiles back. 'In case I'm hella fucking gay?'

'Yeah, that.'

'I'll call you,' Remus says and it sounds like he means it.

A few hours later his phone rings and Sirius curses softly. He is just working on his bike and his hands are greasy with oil. For a few seconds he considers just letting it ring, but then he thinks of Remus and what if he is calling right now? He holds the phone against his ear with the cleanest fingers. His heart hammers when he hears Remus talking. Unlike in the coffee shop that morning, Remus sounds nervous.

'I'm sorry, what did you say?' Sirius murmurs, embarrased that he was too busy daydreaming about the barista to actually listen to him.

'My shift's over and I thought that maybe, if you're not busy, we could...'

'No, I'm not busy!' Sirius says, though it comes out way too fast and way too eager to sound subtle.

Sirius has never in his life driven anywhere as fast as he does now and it's only a few minutes later when he stops at the coffee shop. Remus is sitting on a bench near the shop. When Sirius pulls up, he stands and stretches, showing a sliver of his stomach. Sirius swallows, almost unable to pull his eyes away from the exposed skin.

'Hey,' Remus waves at him.

'Hey,' Sirius smiles, before holding out an extra helmet.  
Remus takes it and climbs onto the motorcycle. Sirius shivers when he feels Remus's body so close against his and for a second he is worried that he won't be able to concentrate on the road, but then Remus wraps his arms around Sirius chest and rests his chin on his shoulder and Sirius knows it's going to be okay.

'Where do you want to go?' he asks softly.

'Anywhere,' Remus smiles and he tightens his arms around Sirius when the bike roars to life.


End file.
